I like to pretend that people are listening to what I have to say.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want an audience. I want to know that people are reading what I have to say - I want to feel as if I'm being heard and that people are paying attention to me. I'd like to know that my opinion mattered to somebody -- Maybe even a large amount of somebody's if I'm really honest with myself... It feels good to have a platform to project your voice out into the world.

Of course, with that type of attention comes a lot of pressure. The pressure to be what others want, to risk disappointing someone (because you're always going to disappoint someone), and to receive backlash or hate for your opinions.

But frankly, I'm willing to deal with all of that. I'm willing to work through and navigate my way around those difficulties.

All to know I'm being heard. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm quite aware that this confession triggers just about every narcissistic warning sign a person can exhibit. And it almost definitely shows off my ego in a way that may be unflattering to some. But you know what? I don't care.

Because it's the truth; and this is what I intend on being with you - and with myself - truthful.

But here's why I'm putting all of this out there. Here's why I'm risking coming off like a pretentious asshole.

I don't really think I'm alone in my desires. I think we're all trying to get people to listen. We crave the limelight in a way that has never before been seen. For every blog and opinion piece on the Internet, people are asking others to listen to them. They are shouting into the void asking for someone to take away the feelings of being unheard or unacknowledged.

I think we all want the chance to have others listen to us.

And that's ok. That's a natural human desire. After all, our voices are the only things that can't be taken away from us. It's no wonder that we so desperately need to express them for others to see. It's our way to connect with the outside world and remember that we're not alone.

What I need to be aware of though, what I think we all need to be aware of, is our motivation behind the expression.

I can't come to rely on an audience. I need to remember that my voice matters just as much now, with one person reading, as it would if I had thousands and thousands of people listening to me.

I must always remember why I speak, why I express myself.

Not to gain the attention of others - not to sway opinion or to gain favor - but simply for the act of expression. And if I'm lucky, maybe I can connect with another person at some point. Maybe what I have to say will resonate and make us feel less alone.

Because really, other than that, what's the point? 

I’m going to write, and speak, and use my voice reguardless of whether or not anyone is paying attention. Even though I crave communication, discussion, and for my voice to be heard – I will not depend on it for validation.