Romantic Hopelessness

I need to find the part of the brain that lets us make masochistic decisions – Specifically, the area which lets me watch romantic movies.

Here's what I want to understand. What sick sadistic pleasure do I get from watching these things?? Seeing the hottest-of-the-hot spout out these perfectly written lines that are delivered with such honesty and sincerity that they'd literally charm the pants off of anyone??!

How exactly is that fun for me???

Because you know what happens after that movie ends???

Not a god damn thing.

Boys continue to be immature, stupid, oblivious, and uninteresting as ever. And I continue to have my expectations shot down - blown to pieces - demolished.

Fact. Growing up A Walk to Remember almost ruined my life.

Here I am; this impressionable young thing. Minding my own business, just deciding to watch a movie with my friend, and I see Landon sweep Jamie off her feet. An innocent and kind girl sheltered from the world falls in love with a boy, more amazing than she could ever imagine.

I CAN PRACTICALLY FEEL MY YOUNGER SELF'S EYES SPARKLING!!

I became so desperate and lonely after that god forsaken film. I was sure I'd be alone for forever because if I didn't have THAT kind of love, I didn't want any of it...

What in the ever loving hell??? HOW?...

And the thing is, I still watch these movies and allow them to drag me to the deepest depths of despair. 

You'd think I'd learn after watching Noah kiss Allie in the pouring rain... But nope. I just keep coming back. Like the mindless consumer I am.

Thankfully, I now know how crazy I am. I'm aware these things don't get me anywhere and that they are pure fantasy. I KNOW THAT. I'm not stupid.

I just... Can't help but want to escape into that simpler world.

Boy meets girl -  boy and girl fall in love - the couple has a whirlwind romance - more crap happens - then they either go their separate ways, better people for having loved each other, or they die of old age, clinging to each other as they take their last breath...

I know. I know. What self respecting feminist would ever admit to having such an unhealthy relationship with 'romance'?

Well, I guess this one.  

I'm very aware that real love doesn't come in these pre-packaged films. I get that. But I'm worried for the girls that lose themselves a little TOO much in these fairytales. Even I still struggle with it and I consider myself a very level-headed and self-aware girl. But me at 16 was miserable for it.

Can we just do away with these things completely please?

Because I'm pretty sure that romance movies are going to be responsible for the collapse of the modern world. 

Until then, I’m just going to put this on repeat…

#Hopeless