Not my best self today.

Today’s been one of those ugly days. You know, those days where you can hear yourself being snippy, bitter, and bitchy but you can’t exactly stop the gross stuff from coming out your mouth...

I'm not proud of the person I am on days like today. And that less than enthusiastic self-feeling only makes things worse it seems.

I'm trying to pull it together; focus on the positive and all that, but the truth is, I'm really frustrated and not that happy right now.

I'm also not a fan of the "pretending I feel different than I actually do" thing either. So, maybe I should just tell the truth and keep it real?..

My best friend is away right now and I'm kinda left to deal with all these feelings on my own.

I feel lonely, clingy, frustrated, and sad... I want to be with her, I want to stop resenting people who don't deserve to be resented, I want to stop lashing out and being impatient with those around me just because I'm sad or unfulfilled. These aren't light issues. They aren't something new or something that I deal with every moment of every day either. But they are reoccurring. They are uncomfortable and unhealthy. I just want it to stop.

So, that's where I am today.

It sucks, but at least it's honest.