Thursday, March 1, 2012

I’m kind of embarrassed to admit how nervous this blog makes me


No one is comfortable with being vulnerable. The whole definition of vulnerability is surrendering yourself to another/others and allowing them to have power over you. At its core it’s a release of protection.

But that’s what this whole place is for: I’m designing it to push my buttons.

So here’s the deal – I don’t feel anywhere NEAR ready to call myself a writer. Just thinking about that title makes me want to vomit, run and hide, or maybe both at the same time; not a pretty sight, I don’t recommend trying to imagine it.

However, as it turns out, I do like to write.

I don’t think I’m particularly good at it, but when I’m not fretting over every single way I am failing miserably, I do enjoy it.

And it’s not like I believe that there is a defining moment where one ‘becomes a writer’. Being published – although an amazing credential – doesn’t magically transform a person into a pen’s man.

I mean, Lauren Conrad and Snookie have books for god sake…

Not to mention there are also people who spend their whole lives writing and never even consider publishing or making money from their work. They do it simply for themselves.

So any time I put some words down on a page, I’m opening myself up to criticism. Not just from others, which is bad enough, but also from myself…

Anyways, I think it’s time I start allowing myself to just do what I enjoy.

And if someone doesn’t think what I’m capable of isn’t very good – well screw them.

Even if that person is me. 

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