I'm finishing up the last classes of my undergraduate degree which means my mind is swimming with "what’s next" kinds of thoughts these days.
Today’s class didn’t help with that.
I spent my day researching the different types of mental health professions and what it takes to gain each title. It got me thinking a lot about where I want to see myself and what I'm actually interested in working towards.
A not-so-secret part of me would love to get my licensing in clinical psychology. Being able to practice psychotherapy would be like the ultimate accomplishment. Working with individuals and providing extensive therapy is something that I can totally see myself doing.
But... (And there’s quite a few of those)
THE LONG TERM ONE
1). I would have to be in school for about another 4-5 years of graduate training, I'd probably need another year to complete my dissertation, in addition to about 1-2 years of interning...
That's 7-8 more years of schooling. Not counting the 6 I’ve already put in.
If I were to decide to do this, my commitment levels would have to be off the charts. This isn't something that you just do in passing. This is a goal that takes DEDICATION. I’d basically be committing to 4-5 years of little-to-no social life.
THE PRACTICAL ONE
2). The cost is astronomical and I’m estimating it could be between 30-50 thousand to finish my entire course. Maybe more… Those numbers come from just some light Googleing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of debt I’d be getting myself into...
THE BIG EXISTENTIAL ONE
3). Let's get real for a second. I have to deal with things as they stand. And the reality of my life is that the likelihood of me living into my late adulthood is pretty fucking slim.
In fact, with every passing decade my chances get slimmer and slimmer and I become more of an exception.
Now, YES, I know that's how it works for everyone. (DUH) But for me, the odds are NOT in my favor. Actually, I'm really god damn lucky that I've stuck around this long.
So. I’m at a point where I need to ask myself some very important questions.
Like, do I want to commit to spending the next 7-8 years of my life with my nose in a textbook, doing nothing but reading, writing, and researching??
If I had all the time in the world, then my answer would be HELL YEAH. I’d love to be able to educate myself to the point that I could really and truly help people...
But. The fact is. I doubt I'll have that much time. Even if I did survive the schooling process, how long would I even be able to practice before I kick the bucket?
I mean... I'm not guaranteed tomorrow. No one is. I get that. But at the same time, we all have to plan as if we’re going to wake up the next day. We have to assume we’re going to have a future.
Today’s class didn’t help with that.
I spent my day researching the different types of mental health professions and what it takes to gain each title. It got me thinking a lot about where I want to see myself and what I'm actually interested in working towards.
A not-so-secret part of me would love to get my licensing in clinical psychology. Being able to practice psychotherapy would be like the ultimate accomplishment. Working with individuals and providing extensive therapy is something that I can totally see myself doing.
But... (And there’s quite a few of those)
THE LONG TERM ONE
1). I would have to be in school for about another 4-5 years of graduate training, I'd probably need another year to complete my dissertation, in addition to about 1-2 years of interning...
That's 7-8 more years of schooling. Not counting the 6 I’ve already put in.
If I were to decide to do this, my commitment levels would have to be off the charts. This isn't something that you just do in passing. This is a goal that takes DEDICATION. I’d basically be committing to 4-5 years of little-to-no social life.
THE PRACTICAL ONE
2). The cost is astronomical and I’m estimating it could be between 30-50 thousand to finish my entire course. Maybe more… Those numbers come from just some light Googleing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of debt I’d be getting myself into...
THE BIG EXISTENTIAL ONE
3). Let's get real for a second. I have to deal with things as they stand. And the reality of my life is that the likelihood of me living into my late adulthood is pretty fucking slim.
In fact, with every passing decade my chances get slimmer and slimmer and I become more of an exception.
Now, YES, I know that's how it works for everyone. (DUH) But for me, the odds are NOT in my favor. Actually, I'm really god damn lucky that I've stuck around this long.
So. I’m at a point where I need to ask myself some very important questions.
Like, do I want to commit to spending the next 7-8 years of my life with my nose in a textbook, doing nothing but reading, writing, and researching??
If I had all the time in the world, then my answer would be HELL YEAH. I’d love to be able to educate myself to the point that I could really and truly help people...
But. The fact is. I doubt I'll have that much time. Even if I did survive the schooling process, how long would I even be able to practice before I kick the bucket?
I mean... I'm not guaranteed tomorrow. No one is. I get that. But at the same time, we all have to plan as if we’re going to wake up the next day. We have to assume we’re going to have a future.
So what do I REALLY want to do with my time? How do I want to live this, most likely, short life that I've been given?
I know that a lot of people my age are starting to ask themselves the same question. I know we're all trying to find our way. But I also feel like I have the added pressure of the ticking clock that is my body.
I can't screw this up. I have to start my life NOW because If not... I might miss out on the good parts before they even get started.
But then at the same time, I have this overwhelming calm that's slipping over me.
Because I know that this is the right decision and I can kind of let myself off the hook for not going further.
I'm not saying that I don't want to further my education. I'm a natural student to my core. I just know that, whatever I do, I want to make sure I don't take on too much that I can’t enjoy my life along the way.
And besides, it's not like there's a point when 'the good stuff' starts happening. The good stuff is all around me. I feel it all the time.
I just have to remember to go after the things that make me feel EXTRA good. The things I'm passionate about.
My passion? Helping people. Being there for them. Providing guidance.
And honestly? I don't need a PhD to do that. I might want one. I might find that process of achievement and dedication alluring. But in reality I can start helping people right now, in some fashion or another.
I'll make that a part of my life if I survive today or a lifetime of days.
I know that a lot of people my age are starting to ask themselves the same question. I know we're all trying to find our way. But I also feel like I have the added pressure of the ticking clock that is my body.
I can't screw this up. I have to start my life NOW because If not... I might miss out on the good parts before they even get started.
But then at the same time, I have this overwhelming calm that's slipping over me.
Because I know that this is the right decision and I can kind of let myself off the hook for not going further.
I'm not saying that I don't want to further my education. I'm a natural student to my core. I just know that, whatever I do, I want to make sure I don't take on too much that I can’t enjoy my life along the way.
And besides, it's not like there's a point when 'the good stuff' starts happening. The good stuff is all around me. I feel it all the time.
I just have to remember to go after the things that make me feel EXTRA good. The things I'm passionate about.
My passion? Helping people. Being there for them. Providing guidance.
And honestly? I don't need a PhD to do that. I might want one. I might find that process of achievement and dedication alluring. But in reality I can start helping people right now, in some fashion or another.
I'll make that a part of my life if I survive today or a lifetime of days.
No comments:
Post a Comment