Did you miss me?!?!?

My unscheduled writing hiatus has gone on long enough. I simply can not go another day without scribbling something down.

I’m not completely sure why I stopped writing in the first place. Mostly, I think I was just burnt out. It felt like a chore to put some of myself out there, and I was just tired… Not to mention, I’m in my head a lot these days (which, duh, now is the exact time I should be writing more) but I digress.

Today is my Nana’s funeral.

Not even four months after my granddad passed, she’s gone too.

It’s not exactly the same heartbreaking sadness losing her, simply because we know how sick she was and how much she missed him. But going through the process of losing someone again; it’s exhausting and my heart feels so weighed down.

I’m just struggling a lot these day’s and I feel like if I don’t start writing again, I’m going to go crazy.

I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to casually write. I can either do this every day or I go weeks and weeks without sitting down with my thoughts. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to pin something down, but because I had broken my commitment of writing everyday – I just couldn’t find the energy to actually DO it.

But enough is enough. I’m restless and confused and I need to find a way to channel all of the mental energy/anguish I have inside myself.

This is a time of transition for me.

Things are changing much faster than I’m used to.

So in order to keep up, I’m going to do everything I can to document my journey. Even if it’s only to keep myself from going crazy. Because it seems, for whatever reason, this journaling thing helps me. It makes me feel clearer and more focused.

And right now, I need that more than anything.