Do Your Homework!!!

You know those really stressful days that I'm always craving???

Yeah, today is one of those days...

I’m doing everything I can to stay on top of the RAGING PROBLEM CHILD that is this school assignment I’m working on, but sometimes things are just out of my control.

For instance, I'm supposed to interview a clinical psychologist and another mental health professional. Then I'm to analyze how those professions differ.

Awesome, pretty straightforward, and something complexly different to what I've had to do in class before.

But here’s the thing....

No clinical psychologist wants to give me any of their time...

So... Yeah.

Anyways, this is a new challenge for me. It's mentally, emotionally, and even physically taxing (yeah, all I want to do is lay down right now, but that's not an option, in case someone returns my call I have to be ready to go).

But I...

Kinda love it.

I love being pushed, asked to rise to the occasion, and make it work.

Ask more from me. Please.

I obviously can't FORCE someone to let me interview them, so whether I succeed or fail is only in my control so much.

Here's what’s being tested this week: social skills, planning, ingenuity, politeness, patience, stress management, PERSISTENCE.

And, I love it. 

I mean, there have been moments today when I was almost sick to my stomach with stress. But you know what??

That's ok.
Because I can feel myself being shoved out of my comfort zone.

This is where we learn what we’re really made of. Let’s take the gloves off and do this thing.

I'm terrified, self-conscious that this stuff doesn’t come easy to me, frustrated to the point my face wants to melt off, and my thoughts are STILL CAUGHT in the continuous neverenoughneverdoingenoughneverbeingenoughmoremoremore mental loop.

But despite that, I'm proud of myself.

I'm proud that I keep showing up. I'm proud of my never ending optimism. I'm proud that despite it feeling not-fun I remain a fan of the discomfort. I'm proud of the fact that I keep disregarding my own opinion of myself. Because you know what??? That girl can be a BITCH!!! Screw her!!!

There's something to be said for making an effort.